Ugh

Once I get out of bed, the dogs claim my side of the bed, my pillow, and argue over who sleeps next to Richard.



I'm extremely tired today. Had weird dreams or something. So I've ordered an extra larege cup of whoop ass today....



It's too bad they can't put that crap straight into my veins....

And finally, a proof screen of the mileage our new little car is getting....
(Don't mind the dust, it's Texas after all...)

A vs. An

It's driving me crazy. Please PLEASE PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Learn grammar folks...

"A" goes before all words that begin with consonants.

a cat
a dog
a purple onion
a buffalo
a big apple
With one exception: Use "an" before unsounded h.

an honorable peace
an honest error

"An" goes before all words that begin with vowels:

an apricot
an egg
an Indian
an orbit
an uprising

With two exceptions: When u makes the same sound as the y in you, or o makes the same sound as w in won, then a is used.

a union
a united front
a unicorn
a used napkin
a U.S. ship
a one-legged man

Note: The choice of article is actually based upon the phonetic (sound) quality of the first letter in a word, not on the orthographic (written) representation of the letter. If the first letter makes a vowel-type sound, you use "an"; if the first letter would make a consonant-type sound, you use "a." So, if you consider the rule from a phonetic perspective, there aren't any exceptions. Since the 'h' hasn't any phonetic representation, no audible sound, in the first exception, the sound that follows the article is a vowel; consequently, 'an' is used. In the second exception, the word-initial 'y' sound (unicorn) is actually a glide [j] phonetically, which has consonantal properties; consequently, it is treated as a consonant, requiring 'a'.

Source: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/591/01/

Forgiveness?

Got this in my e-mail today.

Don't really like the story - makes me angry...but the morale speaks volumes on teaching us to forgive (and think before we react).

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked up a stone and scratched lines on the side of the car. In anger, the man took the child's hand and hit it many times; not realizing he was using a wrench.At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple fractures.When the child saw his father.....with painful eyes he asked, 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?' The man was so hurt and speechless; he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions.......sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches; the child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'.

Today...

I'm trying - read T-R-Y-I-N-G - to count calories better. This bringing my lunch thing (and being in unfamliar territory at the new job) is actually helping.

I've been more prepared in planning my lunches too!

So for today, here's what I've had:

Breakfast:
Diet Coke - 0 Calories.
Light n Fit Smoothie - 70 calories
Promise SuperShot (for Blood Pressure) - 45 calories

Snack:
Quaker Chocolate Chip Granola Bar - 90 calories

Lunch:
Chex Mix Cheddar 100 Calorie pack
Stoffers Chicken/Broccoli Flatbread - 420 calories (egad.. I didn't realize that... I'm not sure it was filling enough to be worth it...)
Small peach - 31
Diet Coke - 0 Calories

So, in looking at today - I've consumed 756. That leaves me with roughly 700ish calories to have at dinner.

Not bad overall...
I'm still not dropping any weight though (though it's only been a few days....)

The meds my doc put me on (Wellbutrin XL) turned out to be very bad for me. I had a very severe allergic reaction to the 300MG dosage, breaking out in hives (and I mean big red welts the size of a quarter). I swear, I looked like the marshmallow man - sunburn style. I felt like a big giant walking pimple and I itched so terribly. Not bad for a second day at work!

The new job is nice. I really miss my friends at Centex, but they are still my friends and I can see them anytime I like! (Though, if I keep pushing 10 hour days here, I may not be able to find the time to see them...)

Enough for now... have to get busy!

A new kind of day...

So, I started my new job today. I'm excited, I'm nervous, and I'm scared - all in one! Can I possibly live up to my own expectations of myself? I'm not worried about what other people think - so much as I am worried about what I think of myself.

I ate really well today - which I think is a great thing. I drank NOTHING but water (which for a coffee addict like me was a real challenge), but it was so hot I don't think anything else was going to work for me. For lunch, I had grilled chicken and some steamed veggies. For breakfast, I had some little SmartOne sammich kind of thingy and a yogurt smoothie. For dinner, so far I've just had a Fiber One bar, mostly because I'm not really all that hungry and I'm trying to pay attention to my boredom eating - which I do a lot.

I'm about ready to take the dogs for a walk - who I think will very much appreciate it. They're a little "off" by the whole driving two cars thing and Richard and I not coming home together. We'll see how long that lasts though - especially given that Richard is wanting to return the new car he just bought.

Anyway, I'm just updating you for today. More tomorrow! (or sometime...)

God talks through amazing people...

Friends are hard to find. Sure, you have your friends, but then you have your friends.

Working at Centex, I got introduced to a very good friend of mine, Dan Kinchen. Dan is a very special person. He's a wonderful husband, he's a great dad, but most of all...he's a devout follower of Christ - and he's one of the many not ashamed to show his faith.

Dan has opened my eyes to a lot about God, Christianity, and what it means to be a good (read: great) person. It takes a lot to sometimes make me realize what I'm missing in my life, but Dan is one of those friends who can just talk about the Lord and make you realize not only how insignifcant you are in the grand scheme of things (because I like to think I'm a big part of everything, selfishily...), but he can also make me realize that God loves me just the way I am - and His love is incredibly powerful, forgiving, and awesome.

Dan, Eric, and I went to lunch today. I usually don't ask Dan out to lunch because he usually eats his soup quietly in his cube and studies a book, but this time I did. I'm glad I did too. On the way back, Dan asked Eric and I a very powerful question.

"How certain are you on a scale of 1-10 that you are going to Heaven when you die --- and why?"

Without hesitation, I said - 10. And I listed off so many reasons:

• I'm saved.
• I asked Christ into my heart (same one as above, I think?).
• I love God.
• I ask for forgiveness - A LOT.
• I recognize that I am a sinner.

What I didn't expect was the feelings I would feel after that. Dan is one of those people who can explain science - by explaining God. My faith in Christ was challenged (and is daily) by those around me. I've been around people who don't believe in Christ quite often. I can't change their views. I can only leave that to God to resolve and pray for them every day. I pray for them the hardest.

I know that God doesn't always answer my prayers. I know that sometimes when He doesn't answer them - it isn't His will to do what I wanted. I've learned to stop asking for what I want and start asking God to show me the right way - His way. I've learned to start asking God to do what He wants with me, not what I want with myself.

Dan asked me what my biggest sin was - and I blurted out "swearing." After thinking about it though, I think my biggest sin - as I read the pages and recount the pages of my blogs history - is vanity. I'm so consumed with trying to be perfect and what someone else wants - and I stopped trying to see what God wants from me.

I got back from lunch and I found an e-mail in my inbox from a friend. The quote said:

"Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God."

Perhaps, it is time for me listen....

"Our self image and our habits tend to go together. Change one and you will automatically change the other."

What a perfect quote to start the day with after a day of shopping for clothes yesterday. Seriously, that whole left leg is bigger than the right - is very very annoying, and very very ugly when you try to wear skirts. I know people thing cankles are funny and all, but when you have one - yeah, not so much.

Imagine this if you will - me - trying on a halter dress (for some reason, Richard loved this halter dress) - fat leg - etc...NO THANKS. I like wearing skirts, but short ones - no no no and hell no. Aside from being overweight (which I'm working on getting under control), I'm stuck with lymphedema which there's no cure for and either wearing an ugly stocking on my leg (so sexy in skirts) or I'm stuck with a fat leg...

So to address the quote above - there are some things in our self image we want to change - and some we can't. Maybe my habits need to revolve more around not ever getting into things that show my legs that way I can avoid the self image problems?