A day in the life of...

ME.

Yah, you know you wanna hear all about it. I mean, you're here, right? So, the last few days have been pretty damn cool. I've managed to get my homework done on time and turned in (though I made a better grade when I rushed to do it versus trying to take my time...) and I *think* I've got most of the plans made for the next month or so.

Richard and I are finally going to start rearranging things so we can buy a home. I know I know...12 years finally. Well, technically it's not been 12 years. Not until June 4th anyway. But, things are slowly starting to change and make bigger life decisions.

Have you ever been to the point in you life where you walk past a mirror and you're like "Ewww...fat?" I hate mirrors where I can see more of my body. I feel so less conscious about it if I just don't look. It's weird I guess because if I can't see my image, I don't worry about it. When I see it though, I worry about it. I stress about - ridicusouly though. I hate dieting. I hate the same old crap about "You have to eat this because it's better for you."

Let me tell you something....I like food that's not good for me. Fair food... like fried stuff and cheesy stuff. Things that are probably laced in sodium and all sorts of bad fats....

So here's my question for all you "healthy people..." How do you make a salad taste good? Cause I hate them. How do you make brocolii and cauliflower and peas taste good? How do you make chicken taste not BORING? Sigh.

Did you know I actually qualify for the LapBand? A $15,000 dollar procedure that you can qualify for once your BMI hits 35. Sad, huh? Here's the freaky part though. I know this won't do me any good...

A week before the procedure (7 days), you have to drink all liquids. So, I thought...hey, I can just do that anyway. I've done it before. Then you have to change your diet AFTER the surgery. No more bad foods...no more sodas...eating less...

And I thought to myself, I can just do that - without the invasive surgery right? Seems easy enough...

I mean, I'm definitely more likely to do it WITH the surgery for fear of...I don't know...DYING....and stuff, but I'd rather do it without that SMALL potentially HARMFUL and FATAL side effect.

Maybe I need like boot camp or something. Like someone to get IN MY FACE and YELL!!! "Come on fat ass...MOVE YOUR ASS...."

Sigh, I'd probably punch him/her for screaming at me out of frustration.

Here's my thought for the day...

How do you go about getting the actual ambition and drive to actually make the change? (Other than looking at what I could become....)

I'm not trying to become a size 2. I'm not trying to be bone skinny. I'm just trying to have a nice flat tummy and lose some of the 5 chins I have hanging around in places where I don't have chins. I swear, I fold my neck down and it's like multiple choice. Which one do I want to use today?

I wonder if I should make a goal to start taking pictures like once a month and see the progress? Maybe once a week? Is that too soon?

Perhaps it's time to go back to LA Fitness and start swimming. It's something I love doing anyway...maybe I can make it a workout too instead of just fat floating around in the water.