Working at Centex, I got introduced to a very good friend of mine, Dan Kinchen. Dan is a very special person. He's a wonderful husband, he's a great dad, but most of all...he's a devout follower of Christ - and he's one of the many not ashamed to show his faith.
Dan has opened my eyes to a lot about God, Christianity, and what it means to be a good (read: great) person. It takes a lot to sometimes make me realize what I'm missing in my life, but Dan is one of those friends who can just talk about the Lord and make you realize not only how insignifcant you are in the grand scheme of things (because I like to think I'm a big part of everything, selfishily...), but he can also make me realize that God loves me just the way I am - and His love is incredibly powerful, forgiving, and awesome.
Dan, Eric, and I went to lunch today. I usually don't ask Dan out to lunch because he usually eats his soup quietly in his cube and studies a book, but this time I did. I'm glad I did too. On the way back, Dan asked Eric and I a very powerful question.
"How certain are you on a scale of 1-10 that you are going to Heaven when you die --- and why?"
Without hesitation, I said - 10. And I listed off so many reasons:
- I'm saved.
- I asked Christ into my heart (same one as above, I think?).
- I love God.
- I ask for forgiveness - A LOT.
- I recognize that I am a sinner.
What I didn't expect was the feelings I would feel after that. Dan is one of those people who can explain science - by explaining God. My faith in Christ was challenged (and is daily) by those around me. I've been around people who don't believe in Christ quite often. I can't change their views. I can only leave that to God to resolve and pray for them every day. I pray for them the hardest.
I know that God doesn't always answer my prayers. I know that sometimes when He doesn't answer them - it isn't His will to do what I wanted. I've learned to stop asking for what I want and start asking God to show me the right way - His way. I've learned to start asking God to do what He wants with me, not what I want with myself.
Dan asked me what my biggest sin was - and I blurted out "swearing." After thinking about it though, I think my biggest sin - as I read the pages and recount the pages of my blogs history - is vanity. I'm so consumed with trying to be perfect and what someone else wants - and I stopped trying to see what God wants from me.
I got back from lunch and I found an e-mail in my inbox from a friend. The quote said:
"Prayer is when you talk to God; meditation is when you listen to God."
Perhaps, it is time for me listen....
2 comments:
What a beautiful expression of our journey in/with faith! The Arabic word "Islam" is sometimes translated as "submission" to God-which is good but kind of stiff. I read another translation which captures the root of the word which is "salaam"-peace. So "submission" becomes "peaceful surrender" to God's will. I could definitely listen and "peacefully surrender" more often.
Rachel
this comment isn't in relation to this blog specifically, i was just noticing the year of your birth - 1977? wow; that makes me feel old. there will be a time where you won't want to divulge that information. ;-).
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