A new quote...

Seriously one I need to read, read, read, read, and re-read - like EVERY SINGLE DAY.

"If you lose your temper, you’ve lost the argument."

Enough said.

A new goal...

I was reading over a site and I found some really nice sayings that warmed my heart. It made me feel good inside to read some of them. Sure, some where cheesy, but some were really sweet and warm.

I found one that reminds me of all the people I love and why I love them and wanted to share it with you. If nothing else, it helps to start a new page in a new chapter.

So, for all of you - here's the first one...

We come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

I feel - better? -

I think - at least.

Okay, so here's the scoop. I was looking back through my medical records and found an e-mail I wrote to my doctor. Amazingly enough, I complained about being irritable, crying a lot, having severe mood swings, gaining weight from emo-eating, and various other things.

Well, I finally made an appointment and went to see her this morning. I feel - 10 times better - !

Seriously though. She gave me some Wellbutrin XL (she thinks I may be suffering from depression) and while I'm still a bit tired, I feel more like myself. I feel way less cranky and edgy and I feel more like the "me" I know.

I'm not sure if it's the pill or if it's the fact that maybe I'm drinking sugar, but something is working.

I've got some great news to announce next week, but I have to wait to announce that. Please do stay tuned though. I'm very exicted and want to share it with my dedicated (all 2 of you) readers.

Until then,

Peas and Carrots -

K

Don't show your patriotism?

http://cbs11tv.com/local/patriotism.at.office.2.1020415.html

Okay, now that you've read it - I'm going to complain.

First of all, there's entirely too much "sensorship" in our "nation." I realize America is a melting pot, but seriously - have we gone too far?

First it's no praying in school. Wouldn't want to offend other religions. Then it's no silence at the flag pole. Wouldn't want to take a moment of silence for people to CHOOSE to observe or NOT to observe.

Then, it's no longer Merry Christmas - but Merry X-mas, Happy Christmas, or Happy Holidays.

Now you want to complain about the flag - and a NATIONAL HOLIDAY used to observe the signifiance of our veterans and active military?

Let me kindly remind you of something as you sit over there and take some pompous attitude about these kinds of things. You are able to say those things because there are people DYING in countries around the world to defend your sorry ass. You are able to sit around and BITCH about people flying the flag because someone DIED for that flag to fly proudly above this country. You are able to sit in your AIR CONDITIONED home, eat your BUFFET DINNER and THROW IT AWAY, SPEAK WHATEVER YOU WANT, worship whatever GOD you choose, and drive a car to work every day and ENJOY your rush hour traffic because SOMEONE else is putting their LIFE ON THE LINE to defend YOUR FREEDOMS!!!!!

PUH-LEASE. Get the F off your high horse and realize this country is what it IS BECAUSE of what that flag means to us. It reminds of us the freedoms we have, the battles and wars we've fought, won, and LOST, and is a constant reminder of the men and women who are sitting over in desert countries today to protect you from jets flying into your World Trade Center.

If you don't like the way this country is run - GET THE FUCK OUT.


Oh, and....



Update on CBS11tv's website:

"Then, late Wednesday morning, Kindred posted on its website a statement about the incident. It reads, in part: "The disagreement was over the size of the flag and not what it symbolized. We have invited the employee to put the flag back up."

And the press release from the healthcare website:

http://www.kindredhealthcare.com/Press/2009-05-27.asp

"STATEMENT REGARDING KINDRED HOSPITAL MANSFIELD
Kindred Hospital Mansfield has a great deal of appreciation for the service that many of our employees and their families have given to their country. We honor our veterans and active military through a variety of benefits and service programs. This was an isolated incident between two employees that we are working to resolve amicably. Both employees have family members who have served in the military. The disagreement was over the size of the flag and not what it symbolized. We have invited the employee to put the flag back up. We share their love of country and we appreciate the service of their family members as well as all members of the armed forces. "

I hate...(read - very much)

when photographs blur.

Night images are hard to take - UNLESS - you have a tripod. But that shitty little setting on your camera that says night vision when you want to grab a quick shot - yeah... let's just say that is not for professional looking images and it SUCKS.

Hear me? S.U.C.K.S!

I was trying to take some pictures of the really cool storm brewing outside and it blurred ALL to shiznit and I am SO unhappy. Here are some good pictures I did get though....

To whom it may concern....

Dear Stomach,

Yesterday, I abused you. I ate poorly and stuffed you full of a big yummy sweet potato and an 8 ounce steak (5 ounces more than is portion control).

I apologize for the lack of space currently in my body to expand, however I disagree with your ability to subject me to such pain and torment.

The rest of my body is highly irritated at you. My colon feels like a clogged swimming pool, you gave me cramps beyond nothing I've felt in a few days and you made my head hurt from thinking about how much wrong I had done you. I disagree with your pleasure to let everything exit so quickly by forcing my body to experience such pain and discomfort as you relished in delight at the utmost inabliity to sleep. You kept me up all night and made me toss and turn. I am very upset with you.

I thought about starving you today, but then as quickly as my betraying brain delivered the message, you swiftly got angry, boiled acid, and made me feel gassy. I then felt the slight kicking in my stomach of you reminding me to eat as you bellowed loudly to my coworkers around me.

I am not pleased with you and I am here to tell you your housing arrangements are going to quickly shrink. That's right - you're downgrading in size. Too often you have been spoiled by sweet things and rights to go swimming in sweet carbonated beverages. Well, no more spa days for you. Your jacuzzi of caramel and bubbles (I call them Dr. Pepper) are over. From now on, you will delight in the ever so refreshing and COLD water I provide you as well as a balanced and healthy diet of normal proportions.

Oh, and should you decide to be rude and kick, be loud, or gassy - please be aware I have these little things called Gas-X standing by waiting to trample your armies....

The war is on...

Sincerely,

Kristin

Orcs, Trolls, and Undead vs. Blood Elfs

Seriously, what is with all the animosity towards Blood Elves? We're horde too...

Look I get it. You don't like pretty characters on your side. You're ticked because Thrall let us on your side.

We tried to stay in Sunwell, but when we were ejected from our land by that nasty (UNDEAD BASTARD PRINCE ARTHAS), we had to find a way to survive off something other than the sun. You should be glad we aren't more pissed at the undead for ruining our area. Sure, I realize it was evil undead, but it still undead none the less.

Kael taught us to tap into our energies in order to quench our thirst for magic. Illidian helped to push us into a place where we were regaining most of our power. Because of trying to get our powers back, our Alliance "BRETHERN" decided to shun us. Thrall was courteous enough to welcome us into the horde and you should treat us fairly as well.

Take your green skin, your tusks, and your broken jaws and shove them up your ass. We're on your side...

Great suggestions!

Thanks Jo! Glad to see you still stop by! :)

I multiplied it all out and I'm 210 now. So that's 1470 calories a day! That's definitely do-able! I'll start there and maybe put in a walk as I can "remember."

Keep the suggestions coming.

<3 you all!

A day in the life of...

ME.

Yah, you know you wanna hear all about it. I mean, you're here, right? So, the last few days have been pretty damn cool. I've managed to get my homework done on time and turned in (though I made a better grade when I rushed to do it versus trying to take my time...) and I *think* I've got most of the plans made for the next month or so.

Richard and I are finally going to start rearranging things so we can buy a home. I know I know...12 years finally. Well, technically it's not been 12 years. Not until June 4th anyway. But, things are slowly starting to change and make bigger life decisions.

Have you ever been to the point in you life where you walk past a mirror and you're like "Ewww...fat?" I hate mirrors where I can see more of my body. I feel so less conscious about it if I just don't look. It's weird I guess because if I can't see my image, I don't worry about it. When I see it though, I worry about it. I stress about - ridicusouly though. I hate dieting. I hate the same old crap about "You have to eat this because it's better for you."

Let me tell you something....I like food that's not good for me. Fair food... like fried stuff and cheesy stuff. Things that are probably laced in sodium and all sorts of bad fats....

So here's my question for all you "healthy people..." How do you make a salad taste good? Cause I hate them. How do you make brocolii and cauliflower and peas taste good? How do you make chicken taste not BORING? Sigh.

Did you know I actually qualify for the LapBand? A $15,000 dollar procedure that you can qualify for once your BMI hits 35. Sad, huh? Here's the freaky part though. I know this won't do me any good...

A week before the procedure (7 days), you have to drink all liquids. So, I thought...hey, I can just do that anyway. I've done it before. Then you have to change your diet AFTER the surgery. No more bad foods...no more sodas...eating less...

And I thought to myself, I can just do that - without the invasive surgery right? Seems easy enough...

I mean, I'm definitely more likely to do it WITH the surgery for fear of...I don't know...DYING....and stuff, but I'd rather do it without that SMALL potentially HARMFUL and FATAL side effect.

Maybe I need like boot camp or something. Like someone to get IN MY FACE and YELL!!! "Come on fat ass...MOVE YOUR ASS...."

Sigh, I'd probably punch him/her for screaming at me out of frustration.

Here's my thought for the day...

How do you go about getting the actual ambition and drive to actually make the change? (Other than looking at what I could become....)

I'm not trying to become a size 2. I'm not trying to be bone skinny. I'm just trying to have a nice flat tummy and lose some of the 5 chins I have hanging around in places where I don't have chins. I swear, I fold my neck down and it's like multiple choice. Which one do I want to use today?

I wonder if I should make a goal to start taking pictures like once a month and see the progress? Maybe once a week? Is that too soon?

Perhaps it's time to go back to LA Fitness and start swimming. It's something I love doing anyway...maybe I can make it a workout too instead of just fat floating around in the water.

A new face...

Okay, so I've got a few things I want this blog to be about. First, I'm always on an endless quest to help myself lose weight and I find I do better with it when I openly discuss everything - and I do mean everything.

For those of you that used to follow my blog - you know all about me, my ins and outs, my ups and downs, and the fact that I'm downright - well....damn honest. (Except of course when it comes to fully disclosing what I eat, and then I like to blame my fat on someone else other than me...cause hey - everyone forces me to eat, right? WRONG!)

What I also want it to be about is - well...me. I want people to know who I am, what I'm about, and what makes me tick. Whether that's a random post about something I read, or something that's brewing in my mind - I want to be able to vent it here.

I've stopped posting and actually deleted everything because I didn't want potential employers to find my site and decide they knew everything about me from a blog, but as I thought about it more and more - I think I'm okay with that. I mean, after all...it's me right? And what better way to get to know me than through my SICK twisted humor!?

Well, so - let's talk about a few things that are on my mind.

First - my job. Centex as you've all read has been "sort of" bought out by Pulte. I say sort of because the merger isn't complete yet. I won't go into all the details - mostly because I don't think I legally can...but my fears are a little, I guess....elevated. I'm new to the BA role. I love my job, I love the people I work with, I love my boss(es), and most of all...I love that for the first time, I'm very happy where I'm at. But - there are things I want to be differently. I want to work for a software company. I want to be on the designing edge of software. I always have. I find it fun and challenging. I want to stay a BA. I'm spoiled because I have a developer I work with who I adore and think he's just an absolute genius. I'm sure I'm going to be in for a very rude awakening though when I get into the "real world" and find that not all developers have a good business head on their shoulders. So, to wrap it up...I'm in the accepting stage, but I also know if I do the right thing, I'm working myself out of a job and therefore must find another.

Next - things that are on my mind. I've seen some great movies lately, but Angels and Demons has been one that stuck with me. I also went to see the King Tut exhibit in Dallas a few days ago and I dunno...I guess all the history that comes with both things are kind of screwing with my head. I'm inquisitive. To the point it makes me SICK sometimes that I can't put something down until I know everything about it. This Angels and Demons movie brought up the whole Hadron Collider that Cern is responsible for in Switzerland. Let me put this out there for you all know so you can stop reading if you take offense to the next part.

I'm a Christian. And as such, I believe your big bang theories are STUPID.

I realize you're probably going to tell me it's just as hard to believe we were put here by evolution from ape to man and the big smashing of antimatter into matter that BAM! created the Earth, but sorry folks...My Bible tells me different. I believe I was put on this Earth by the Hand of God and obviously to write a blog. (Just Kidding!) But I do believe I was put here by God and I do believe He has a purpose for me. Although I'm not sure what that is yet. I can also tell you that no amount of you trashing my name, telling me how foolish I am, or telling me I'm a blind sheep is going to change my mind. I'm sorry you feel that way. I'm still a Christian and I'll be a Christian to the very end. Every religion has its quirks and differences. Some more than others and I think some are flat out wrong. But - I'm sure people think I'm wrong too. That's fine. They are entitled to make that choice. However, my choice is my own and I believe anything other than worshipping Christ - is wrong.

Anyway, back to this whole Cern thing. So Cern has built this Hadron Collider that is supposed to smash these atoms together in an attempt to recreate the big bang theory and HOPEFULLY not suck us all into a black hole they "accidentally" create. I think it's great that science is this dedicated to disproving the "History Book" as they like to call it, but I also think they are teetering on the fine edge of a cliff that is very very unstable. Sure, I'm not foolish enough to believe that planets and solar systems aren't created by Big Bangs. I mean, look at stars. That's how they get created - sort of. (I'm sure there's a lot more to it than that...) But, I simply don't believe the Earth was created as a big bang and then we were evolutionzed from an Ape. Sorry - not my cup of tea. I wish Cern luck - and I hope they don't suck us into a black hole, but if they do...I'm ready and I've made my peace with who I am.

Tired of reading yet? I'm surprised you're not!

So, lastly - this whole Egypt King Tut tour thing. The whole Egyptian obelisk thing in Rome really bothers me (Yes, that's partly why I'm obsessed over movie and exhibit). Mostly, the Egyptians bother me. I realize that we (historians) got a lot of stuff wrong. They were a very advanced race. I mean, to the point where I feel like we degraded ourselves as a human race from the Egyptians. The Egyptians were making large sailing ships out of WOOD and STRING (no nails folks) when most people were using dug out canoes. They had FOLDING CHAIRS and BATTERIES. Here's one for you - did you know the pyramids were NOT built by slaves? Thats right! The folks who built the pyramids actually were paid (and well taken care of) architects and construction workers. Scientists have looked at breaks in their bones and realized the kind of care they received was something simliar to what you would receive today. They also had a sort of heirarchy. We see proof in this because foremen type people were buried higher up the hills than "regular workers." (Notice, I did not say slaves...)

Check out this site: http://www.guardians.net/hawass/buildtomb.htm

Here's another interesting thing. Know those big giant obelisks? (Pic below)



Well, here's a good story for you...

Obelisks are stones that are very very tall. (See pic above) These stones in Egyptian time were not several stones put together. They were one stone - completely. That's right - one big hunk of stone from the Earth. One piece. Experts believe that obelisks had religious functions perhaps to draw energy from the heavens. Because they were believed to draw energy and harnass power from the gods (Sun God in the Egyptian case), cracks in the obelisk were said to create a disruption in the energy. Obelisks are created from the stone beneath the granite. Egyptians were smart cookies too. These folks used the Earth's natural fault lines to chip away at the hard granite. What they did was find a natural fault line, built a small fire pit around it, light the "crack" on fire with brush and let it burn for several hours. They would then pour cold water on the fire, causing the granite to "crack" revealing the stone underneath that. From there, "stonemasons" would chip away forming a perfect shape. If you ever go to Egypt, there is something called the Unfinished Obelisk of Aswan. It shows you 1) the magnificient size of these things and 2) that they are one piece. The reason this was unfinished was due to a large "fatal" crack they found in the rock. At the site of this crack, it was decided to abandon this as this would alter the energy from the heavens. Here is a picture of it. Look at the red circle for the crack...



Of course, it's cracked more over time, but that small initial fracture was the stopping point - or so it's "recorded". If you look at it, you can see the chisel marks on the side where they chipped away at this by hand.



Anyway - I don't mean to bore you with the details. I find it extremely interesting as I do most history and thought I'd share this all with you.

To get back to my original items though, I'll have to post some more tomorrow. I can't believe I wrote so much in one day!